if the end of love is this hard. i would never love again. never again.

Monday, January 16, 2017

reflections...

Is been a long while...

Is been a long while since i logon. Time really flew past unknowingly. Is the time of our lifespan (or maybe passed the time of our lifespan) to take up more responsibilities and to experience more responsibilities, more happiness, more sadness, more uncertainty, work politics, more talks on marriage or getting married or being married, and to reflect more.

Two significant events happened today in which I want to remember when I look back. Thus, I am jotting them down in this post.

Today, marks a day to learn to be more grateful, to treasure the people around me, to be proactive and not to regret or be hesitant in the things I want to. Today, my uncle passed away. I haven't been very close to any of my relatives since many years back. However, his passing saddened me so much that my tears flowed instantly. I didn't get a chance to see him one last round though something in my heart tingles saying I should go today. Maybe today was the day I grew up and learnt about having to accept somebody leaving. I do not remember crying or feeling this impact when my aunt whom I had been very close with since young passed away 12 years back. But yet, today. . . . . . . . .

I have been struggling to find the meaning and the passion I once had when I first joined the teaching industry. Expectations of myself, of others on me, on me to the students grew and I slowly forgotten the joy I had when I first taught the kids. Instead, I am trying to complete tasks every single day. Today, while I am packing up to leave the office, I saw a figure at the door and I heard voices, "Hey.. 她来了！" which I presume was referring to me walking to the door. I opened and the lady at the door said, "我的女儿说，你是她小时候的 favourite teacher." I peeped and realised it was one of the school's ex-student. Being a new teacher, I was never her permanent teacher and I just relief her class once in awhile during my short 3 months with them. So, the sentence her mum said had a strong impact. It jolted me back to 6 years ago. To the type of teacher children will enjoy. Thus, this second significant event reminded me to try to be a better teacher from tomorrow onward.

With that, I shall sign out and hope that I had truly learn and remember today.

Signing out... 16/1/17, 11.59pm