if the end of love is this hard. i would never love again. never again.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

happy day ^-^v

today is a happy day. for a couple of reasons.. =)

=) =) =) =) =) =) =)

with all the smiley faces, u can see how happy i am!

okay. cut the crap.

firstly, i woke up early for work today. around 7.30am i think. maybe because i slept too much yesterday. until 3pm in the noon before going for tuition. plus, i had nightmare all night. =.= anyway, the result for waking up early was, i wasn't late for work! hehe..

secondly, the kids at the kindergarten are so obedient today and i managed to take some photos with them. for those who know what happened a couple of weeks ago, i ain't sure whether i can continue teaching them. with these photos, it really serve as memory to me. though they can be very naughty. but.... they are still kids and kids are adorable. ^-^

thirdly, i kinda got over the thing that was bothering me these 2 days. it can't be help that i could not go. maybe i was thinking of the good time that i had going genting with them. and that i really missed it. maybe i am just overly emotional. i felt that i ain't an important friend since they choose not to wait for me. but, it was everyone's schedule that cannot be met. anyway, will try not to think too much like wat at win says. cos that is not the most impt thing. the most impt thing is, boys over flowers. =p haha. kidding.. hope the gals had a good trip and have lots of fun.

fourthly, thank you to my good friend from down under for the pre-grad, encouragment gift. for remembering that was one of my wishlist item. for choosing such a nice jacket. thank you. =)

lastly, the photos that i took with the kids. k1s can't sit still and wait for the camera to snap.. zzz.. maybe they are too shy.. haha.. that is impossible!

k1s

k1 - this is the best photo out of 4 shots.. sigh

k2s

they are so adorable right? haha.. oh ya, dun underestimate them. cos they know how to talk like adults, for e.g., they know what is marry, kiss, bias, and most importantly, trying to get their teacher in a good mood by polishing apple. haha.. hmm. lastly, if i dun get to teach them next semester, hope they will remember me and not hate me..

='(

signing out... 6.15pm

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

left out neither here nor there

i do not hate my thesis.

but just sad.

i really really want to go for the short trip.

but i can't..

and i really hate it.

not anyone.

but myself..

signing out... 12.09am

Monday, May 25, 2009

sakae photo update

some photos that we 4 gals took that day at sakae.. =)

we kinda took a little too many photos =p look like quite 自恋.. haha.. but it was fun.. am now looking forward to meet my two childhood friend, shuhui and peiying, as well as 文辉哥's wedding =) then i can meet the rest of the seniors whom i known since i was in primary sch ^-^ but... i dunno what to wear on that day.. sigh..

anyway, the photos.. first up.. my buddies in poly =)

lihui

celeste and peifeng

from here.. it is us, us, and still us... ^-^

the "weird" photo

lihui learning jolin's new dance move

final photo we took that day

lastly, a photo that we took 4 years back (i think) at sakae sushi.
had we change? haha..

Frenz 4 ever ^o^

signing out... 5.09pm

Friday, May 22, 2009

dilemma

i am in a dilemma..

my friend got back to me yesterday. somehow, i do trust my friend and believed my friend would definitely help me.

maybe it was wrong to tell the mum too much knowing their situation, temper etc since years back.. now i think my friend is angry with me and i am upset.

one side is my friend. the other side is my brother.

am also worried that telling the mum things that i know is actually harming my friend cos they dun want the parents to know. (am thinking about what happened 2 years ago) am worried that i had caused strain to their family.

arghz!! how to focus on my thesis.. =(

on top of the laptop issue.. my student recently got back their exam papers. ok for the p2 boy, 81. however, the sister only got 30 plus. i think i almost fainted. but then again, my mum kept saying i only took them for 1 month odd. since their foundation not good. it takes awhile.. arghz.. so much things to think..

signing out... 10.11am

Thursday, May 21, 2009

thank you..

thank you to all my friend that were concern for me the past few days.. =) i am truly a lucky girl with really good, concern and true friends.

time is really short right now. so maybe i am feeling the stress which lead to my impatience. would really like to say sorry and thank you for the patience you guys had for me..

yesterday was the conference for our thesis. it didn't really went well. however, it is over. will try not to think about it. anyway, it was not graded. now, i just hope i can use all my strength for this last assignment, thesis, which i had been talking about for months.

after conference, i went home to sleep for at least 4 hours before waking up to meet the gals, celeste, lihui, and peifeng, for dinner at sakae. we used to go sakae very often during poly. especially the outlet at bishan. so memories kind of float back yesterday. =) will post up some pictures when i am free..

lastly, was reading through friend's blog. and saw this posting by amber.. on the type of dress personality. my results is..

Your Dress Personality: Girly

Your Personality
You're the romantic princess in the truest sense, believing in true love and human kindness. You are ladylike yet girly at the same time, and your sweet and innocent nature makes you very charming in your own gentle ways. Topped with your kawaii (cute) looks, you are almost angelic.

Your Dress Style
Your favorite colors are pastels, especially pink and baby blue. You are in love with anything and everything sweet and feminine: flowy dresses, floral prints, bohemian skirts and everything reminiscent of your girly childhood.

final update.. the laptop is still not here and i could not contact my friend. with no choice, i called the house. apparently, the family also do not know where she is. being close to my friend last time, i often went over to the house and play. thus, the mum and sister, bro, would had remember me.. kind of felt sad for her mum after talking to her.. i didn't meant to tell her about it and made her worry for my friend. but on the other hand, i did not know things was so bad in the family that even the parents had no control. i do hope that everything turns out fine, that my friend is okay, that nothing harmful or bad happened, and that the 10 over years friendship would not be destroyed because of this matter.

okie.. that's all for now.. gotta go for tuition.. ciao~

signing out... 2.31pm

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

bad day continues

just when everything got better. wasn't angry or upset about yesterday anymore..

i must be scolded by someone in the family.

maybe just keep quiet is the best thing to do.

really hate talking

signing out... 10.15am

Monday, May 18, 2009

bad day

today, is really not a good day.

a long day outside. first at school to do up this coming wednesday's presentation.. then cardio yoga after presentation meeting with supervisor.

dunno why. but i started to have headache so frequently lately. it happened again this afternoon. and right now as well.. maybe it is the stress.

it is time to countdown to the number of days before i officially hand in the thesis report. so much things to do with so little time. i wished i had the knowledge, determination and perserverence that others have. but sadly to say, i dun think i am capable to do it.

not trying to be so pessimistic.

but today. i just can't help but still feel upset. i am not a punching bag. maybe we are just two different character. u, the logical & practical. me, the emotional. but. i still believe u are a true friend. however, at times, one should be more sensitive to others.

if i am too emotional, i am sorry.

but i do believe, i dun deserve to be treated this way. i was not born to be treated this way!

being tolerant to others (even to a particular kfc manager who must pissed me off by showing attitude to me - a customer) doesn't mean that i am not affected. but i choose to keep it to myself.

forgive me for being sensitive and emotional here in this blog.

but my head is bursting and tears are flowing out and yet i need to continue doing work.

i am tired.

signing out... 11.05pm

Friday, May 15, 2009

internet up

my internet is up again.. which is something i am supposed to be glad..

however, i am not in any mood for anything at all..

today is the 15th. my bro and i are expecting the laptop to arrive either today or 20th. called my friend wanting to check whether it will be here today. but, her phone couldn't get through once again.

really dislike it...

it happened one and a half month ago. we ordered a laptop thinking it would arrive 8days later. but after 8 days, we realised it was 8 days after approval. but until 2 weeks ago, it was still not approved.. yet, we had to transfer the money like immediately. i am not trying to blame my friend or what. but it is really long.. and i really dunno how to tell my brother it is okay as he can't help but feel it is all a scam.. arghz!!

can they just pass up the laptop that they agreed and stop giving us stress and worries!! at least switch on the phone!!

sad.. *cry*

signing out... 1.32pm

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

internet down..

hihi.. =)

hmm.. my internet is still not up. currently at the kindergarten.. the kids are... really dunno how to describe.. haha.. as there are some make up class today.. i had to take 2 of my supervisor's class.. these children are a lot much better than those in my class.. and i really wonder why.. zzz..

anyway.........

last saturday, i watched 爱就宅一起 and...... it was superb! haha.. i like i like i like!! for those who like taiwan drama, rainie yang cheng lin or jiro wang.. i would recommend you to watch!! =) is really touching especially the ending.. being a emotional me who cries for no reason.. i definitely did tear on some episode.. *oops. =x

also, wanna recommend one of the song played in the drama. is by TANK - 全世界都停了电. it is also one of the top 3 hits in yes 933 orhz.. nice nice nice~~ uploaded it in the imeem playlist..

lastly, hope my internet would be up soon.. and.... in less than one month, i will be graduating. so these few days would try to be busy.. even if it is "act" or "seems like".. i will still try to be busy. haha..

hmm.. really hope i can go on a tour.. but but but...

okok.. really last sentence.. the lyrics for the recommended song! =)

TANK - 全世界都停了电

连你都会残忍隔绝我的心能要谁了解眼中烛光摇晃着熄灭
为何把我推向边缘被砸坏了的一切卡住了我让我无法往前
囚禁在距离笑声最远的房间单独隔离寂寞地盘旋

全世界都停了电全世界都封了街
我所有窗子外面被贴上黑夜我呐喊思念却没人听见
绝望到极点剩的是疲倦

全世界都停了电全世界白雪满天
才发觉在我心间有回忆碎片一作梦翻身就刺痛流血
我卷着身体缩成一个圈
像一个句点

连你都会残忍隔绝我的心能要谁了解眼中烛光摇晃着熄灭
为何把我推向边缘被砸坏了的一切卡住了我让我无法往前
囚禁在距离笑声最远的房间单独隔离寂寞地盘旋

全世界都停了电全世界都封了街
我所有窗子外面被贴上黑夜我呐喊思念却没人听见
绝望到极点剩的是疲倦

全世界都停了电全世界白雪满天
才发觉在我心间有回忆碎片一作梦翻身就刺痛流血
我卷着身体缩成一个圈
像一个句点

signing out... 12.40pm

Saturday, May 09, 2009

updates: good and bad.

back with updates! =)

quite a number of things happened lately.. both good and bad.. hmm.. maybe i should say about the bad things first?

these two weeks are crucial time for the primary school students as they are having exams. so i had been giving tuition non-stop almost everyday. by the end of this week, i had gave 9 lessons with non-stop of seeing them from tue - friday.. i think they were tired of seeing me as well.. =/

but being busy was not the thing that really got me sad. is me being late for work at the kindergarten on wed that got me really down. even till now, i just can't get over the fact that i was late. maybe to others, is just being late. who was never late before. but i suppose the difference lies in "on what situation were you late". anyway, i can't describe how terrible i feel even till now and what are the consequences i might face after that incident.

lastly, another bad thing is, my internet connection is down these few days. am now outside using some another's connection.. so, not that i MIA from MSN or what so ever. but is the company - _ _ _ _ _ _ _ , that is stopping me from using it as they just could not solve the problem. it had been 2 days. hmm.. maybe i should not be so mean. out of all the technician and operators i spoke to, only one chinese technician was the most helpful and patient.

anyway, the good thing on the other hand was, for a few weeks, i had been keeping mum, not wanting to talk and with no mood to talk.. but last sunday, i somehow seems to open up a lil and had a nice conversation before going for tuition. yup.. though most part of the conversation seems like i was grumbling.. haha.. think the older i get, the more i dun feel like talking. must be me being lazy.. hehe..

another good thing which also happened on sunday was... i finally get down to bake pineapple tarts with my mum!! haha.. i know is not chinese new year.. but, who says we can only eat pineapple tarts during chinese new year? haha.. anyway, it was rather successful i would say. at least some of those that i gave like it.. must emphasize!! "is the first time i tried orhz!!" haha.. uploading some pictures on the process~~

first: cream the egg and butter..

pineapple (left) and dough(right) after adding flour.. before baking..
end product.. tadah~ ^-^Note: pictures were not well-taken =( blurrish..

signing out... 3.36pm