hihi... currently in China, Mao Xian. this is my 5th day. wanted to tell all of ya wat happen for the past few days. but i guess it will be kinda too long. and as usual, i am lazy to summarise. wahahaha. anywayz, the first few days aint very nice. kinda tiring. stayed in JiuZhaiGou Paradise hotel the last 2 nights. the hotel is excellent. is eve better than a 5 star hotel. woohoo. haha. i think is a 6 star hotel sia. ^.^ took 1 pic on it. went to "Jia Bo Gu Chen" at night to watch a musical performance. though the guys here are very tan [hmmmz.. more of a dark coz of the high altitude therefore greater sun rays] but surprisingly, there are quite a few that are very nice looking orhz. with long hair etc de. like celebrities. wahahhaz. oops. =.=" hehe.
kinda dun wish to come back so early because after this trip, i will start work immediately on monday. haiz... then it will be work, work and work. stress, stress and stress. haiz... =( arghz!! shouldnt think abt all these. came here to enjoy yeahz. haha. everyone told me not to think abt all these work stuffs or anything that will make me headache b4 i left for china. haha. they know me too well yeahz. =P wonder how's everyone? maybe i will just update more when i get back. hopefully i have the time. aint sure whether i do or not when i start to work.. ARGHZ!!! here i goes again. thinking abt unneccessary stuffs. bleahz.
ok then. gotta go. oh!! b4 i get going. wanna say i tink i lose weight here le. haha. coz the food here, kinda dun suit my taste. that's why. =( bb le. will be back this coming sat. see ya dudes and babes. hehe. ^.^

just here to drop a few words. was very bz lately. therefore very very tired. but funny yeahz. being so lazy, i still can blog. thought i will just drop dead on my bed. wahhaz. gonna go china soon. kinda sad. coz it indicates that i am going to work soon. boohoo... arghz!!! but the only assuring thing abt going to work soon is taht i can buy new clothes. yeahz!! haha.
like i say, i was very bz. doing part-time as a packer. yesterday after helping the company deliver their goods, i went to work at the bookshop. coz the gal who is suppose to be working is sick. she had fever. so ppl please drink more water and take care yeahz. =) oops! out of point. anywayz, aint sure i am tired or i got hearing probs. but there was a guy who ask for a mag taht sounded like the word "supermarket" to me. and i really didnt know he was asking whether the shop carries such mag. so i was kinda prepared to tell him where the nearest NTUC supermarket was. but he pointed out tat it was a mag that he was looking for. omg.. i was so very malu. then another customer he bought a mag and i charge him 10 bucks when is only 3 bucks coz i saw the wrong price tag. the customer was very familiar. then i realise was parlin's [john's friend] bf. haha.. malu once again.
today i woke up late. and while i was rushing to work, i pass by 2 tourist [they look like they are from china] infront of the Swissotel hotel. and they were like asking where was Suntec city. but i was very sure they ask me whether they can board the taxi that is just infront of them. i aint sure coz there was like other tourist hanging ard. therefore i thought the butler will allocate them to the taxi. so i went to ask the butler. and they told the butler that they will walk there and i was puzzled. then i realise that they were talking abt Suntec city and not talking abt taxi. Duhz!! haha.. normal reaction was turn and walk away as fast. and that is exactly wat i did. wahhahaz. but also coz i was late mahz. haha.
guess it must be hearing probs. but so malu. tsk tsk. haha. gotta slp. else will be late. beginning to look like panda again. sobz.

lately had been feeling very very restless. felt so angry with myself for snapping at my mummy. she is so nice, so patient. and i am playing the bad guy role now. snapping at her. i am so sorry. haiz. dunno wat has got into me!! did i mention in my previous entry that i sign the contract? guess i did. haiz. regret it. really do. but still trying to psycho myself to think positive. how can i achieve my dream job and my dream if i kept behaving this negative. i felt like screaming: COME ON!! GET HOLD OF URSELF LING XUAn!! haiz. *shake head.
think i am feeling restless coz of the job and coz i could not break this particular habit of mine. msn is getting quieter.. =( anywayz, back to the job. i had sign a 12 mths contract. aint sure izzit good. might be good and bad. but... i cant do anything right now right. haha. peifeng also sign a contract that day. and it seems like li hui and celeste will be applying for the job that peifeng had applied. if both of them also get in. which is most probably and high chances they will. then i will be the odd one once again. haiz. i know i aint suppose to think like this. but just cant help it u see... ok. i think i better shut my mouth now. coz i just snap at my dad. i am the worst person living on earth!! haiz. somehow everything seems so not right nowadayz. the thought that i will be starting work right after i come back from china makes me kinda felt like this time, no matter wat. i am going to grow up!! mentally.... is such a difficult process. but yet a process that everyone have to go through. else u will be left out. once again...
somehow or rather. i am beginning to revert to my old thinking once again. family and friends are more important then anything else. even having a bf also dun come as close as to the importance of friends and family. everytime i will just have this cycle. family and friends is the most important --> how will it be if u have a partner --> back again to family and friends is the most important. i suppose unless the right one appears, else i will forever be stuck in this cycle. pathetic ehz? haha.
feeling restless and sad again. later have to go back to work [part-time]. and meli will be starting work proper later. wish her lotsa luck in her job. and that she will do real GREAT and impress all. Yeah!! ^.^ meli is really nice. she alwayz listen to my nonsense. think she do get frustrated abt it at times too. coz i alwayz repeat it over and over and over again!! haha. but she is really a GREAT person, friend and she is like my elder sis. haha. meli, JIA YOU 4 ya job yeahz!!
gotta sleep le. really dun wanna be panda.

today was a very restless day. yesterday was also kinda. if u ask meli, she will tell me that i sigh so many number of times... anywayz, i am now working now. part time with melissa. packing hp accessories. not a very hard job. only thing is i am like a snail. so slow. think my hand cramp sia. Duhz.. =.= will be away on the 22nd june. back on the 2nd july. then continue working at the bookshop. will start work proper on the 4th july at cecil street there. is more of an IT job. hope i can survive....
think i should change my blogskin soon. seems like everyone had change theirs... but main problem is. i am just just just too lazy!! well, see how bahz. haha
lately lotsa my friends went into ns le. BMT for 3 mths. now msn seems very very very quiet. think is a good time to stop coming online too often. coz had been scolded by my dad rather often. haiz. i just talk rather loudly to my mum... think today is really not my day.. like bad mood. dun feel like talking. having stomach discomfort.. haiz. just so.... =(
lately had been thinking of some weird things. like if i am to contract an illness. wat will i do. think i will only regret for the things i nvr done and the things that i hold back to. but still, even with tat, i still wanna lead the life i lead now. even if i am to regret. haha. real stubborn right.

went to food fair at expo on monday with peifeng and ryan. while 3 of us were walking in, we saw families carrying a few plastic bags of stuff. food, goodies etc... thought i werent be like them. but who knows? haha. after finish walking the whole of expo, i were not only bloated but i was also carrying plastic bags of goodies. wahhahz. there were so many ppl at expo that i was late for work. [ok.. this was an excuse. haha.] i wasnt only late for work, i made mistakes at work again. i really think i got no sense when it comes to working.. so duhz... =.=" then at night i did sumthing very bad. i made a friend of mine very sad and very hurt. but it was sumthing that have to be done i think...





stayed at home the whole day on tuesday. was suppose to do lotsa things but it turns out taht i did none. haha. only slept lots. like pig. haha. oh! and i talked to desmond quite some time. he is just as lame. but felt that he is a lil weird. think he kinda change bahz? haha... but still he is someone i really respect and salute. though i dun say it out. else he will sure be very happy and proud. =.=" haha...





went out yesterday [1st Jun - wed] with a friend. watch movie, had dinner [Fish & Co. yummy] etc.. thank goodness everything was quite ok. not that awkward. phew. haha.
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i had never mentioned how happy i was to go out on that very day. in fact, i am really very glad that i made the right choice to go out. i do not have to say what happened that day. because it is forever kept in my heart. the neoprints and everything. will always be intact. in my mind. my heart. i never did blog about the happenings and the events that we had, the places that we go, the things that we do. because. there is no need at all. they are all kept in my heart. every single details.

i never forget you. but many of a times. even now. i am forced to be under the shadows.

no one can understand how i feel. i only have my book to rely on. how i truly feel. how i pass each day. you will never know. until the day that i die. will the book be pass to you. maybe then will you understand everything.

804051





will be meeting meli later for dinner and maybe catch up with her.. then tml will be meeting li hui and the rest maybe for sakae? coz li hui will be starting work next week most prob. so it will be rather hard to get together. still felt that both of us are kinda drifting apart. but this is part& parcel of life i suppose.. haha. so positive ehz? but still sad we didnt take a photo together in genting. just 2 of us. boohoo.. =( but nvm. she promise me she will take neoprint with me the next time! yeahz!! ^.^Y


think that's all for this week. will try not to be lazy. take care peeps! ^.^

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