if the end of love is this hard. i would never love again. never again.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

sunday = assignment day?!?!

today is sunday. it sucks to stay home and do work. cos it is SUNDAY!! haix.. but still... no choice..

exam timetable is out... i wonder if it is good or bad. good thing is it will be before chinese new year. while on the other hand, 2 papers will be cramp on one day. so i will have to be in school from 9am to 5pm.. sickening!!

............... dunno what to say. bad mood, bad mood, bad mood!!! ARGHZ!!!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

debate..... hair cut.....?!?!

had the first debate today. ain't the most important one. because the important debate is to trash the next group. well.. hmm.. i aint that mean lah. but... just wanna put up a tough fight bahz.. cos they call us "vulnerable" first.. *boiling.. anyway, i think i am still rather blur and overwhelmed by the whole debate. worried whether my voice will shake etc.. in the end, i doubt i rebutted back the proposition's stand and when i read my script, everyone is like?!?! so i dun think my point was even rebutted back by the other grp.. haha.. blessing in disguise?!?! these days, i felt like i am trying to undergo a change. a change to be more independent and less reliant on others. the want to contribute and feel less useless is still lingering.. hmm...... *speechless. gambatek!!

still very busy.. but luckily a couple of the assignments has been pushed back. till end of jan instead of next week. still, it is no time to slack.. cos i am slower.. so i have to work double/triple harder then the rest.. but luckily, though i ain't talk much to the rest.. but at least i have a few good friends who helped me whenever they could. *beam* i am so lucky since young. with all the care and concern from my friends, family and bb. (not to be mushy.) but even so, there's still one small part that is still missing. Shhh... haha..

my current conflict is, to cut my hair short or not to. short as in maybe shoulder lenght. ben says not to. else i will look like the mushroom head i used to be in sec school =.="" hmmm...... but that's different. think last time fatter mah. now still fat. but not so so fat.. haha.. hmmmm....... cut? dun cut? cut? dun cut? Zzz....

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

the wants and dun wants

okie. firstly, i know everyone is tired of hearing me about to flop this exam and kept asking questions. ~~but~~...(anything that comes after a "but" is an excuse. thus, the only solution not to say "but" is to do something about what comes after it) i also hate to flop and kept asking questions!! arghz!! i wanna be a unique self and not someone self reliant. but on the other hand, izzit me just kept saying and no actions done?? arghz!!!!!!

had a test today. and i am really not sure if i am going to pass. was sick the past 2 days. Damn. regret not studying earlier and falling sick at this crucial moment.. and then, complain all sorts of nonsense. hate this kinda me. *sickening sickening sickening. have to start rushing an assignment by this friday.. so so many things to do....... i wanna be busy, wanna feel like i am doing something useful. want to stop complaining and cursing and moaning.. wanna feel worthy and not useless. wanna contribute in discussions, in ideas and gives and help people. and not just get help from others.. haix..................

but first of all, i need to get well.. please help me.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

a slightly better day

yesterday wasn't such a bad day after all. at least compromisation are made, unhappiness are talked out, thinkings were straighten. really hope i will never experience such torture during this year 2007.

this year 2007, i wish that i will be more attentive in class, less blur, more independent, less stress and that everyone around me will be happy. will i succeed? we shall see... haha.. (in a lame mood).

Monday, January 01, 2007

1st entry for the 1st Jan

the time now is 4.41am, 1st January 2007. was doing my assignments for the past few hours. so as to distract myself. but now. playing freecell. kinda addicted to it. especially when i am thinking alot.

at this time, everyone is starting to get home. the sounds of car and taxi driving up the carpark. opening of the gate sounds. yup. everyone had fun, celebrated their new year. and i am here at home doing my assignment. simply sux. But luckily i have a group of frens who is with me because they are also rushing their assignments. but nevertheless, just glad that they were there (nt cos we are struggling w the assignment.becos only i am struggling and almost felt straggled by it).

think that's all for today. its time to sleep. the skin at the side of my eyes seems like it is going to peel off soon. maybe recently too much dampness around.