if the end of love is this hard. i would never love again. never again.

Monday, July 30, 2007

wonderful weekend

had a great weekend last week! =) cs wanted to bring me to watch harry potter at vivo city gold class. but the timing was really too late and i find it way too expensive!! thus, in the end, we decided to stick to somewhere near. partly also because there was just not much of a timeslot and seatings left in almost all of the cinemas.. he did all the planning, the finding of information as to which cinema have timeslots and considering where were the places that would be crowded (like marina square whereby there would be ndp preview) so that we can avoid a jam. yup. he planned all before asking me my preferance.. keke.. happiee... cos i just have to nod or shake my head and not think of the details. =]

had dinner at ajisen, yummy, he paid for it. haha. dessert after dinner was ice-cream at haagen daz. =) =) =) he paid for it as well. pratically, he paid for everything that day.. thus, by the end of the day. i felt so so so pampered. the feeling will definitely last me for quite some time. thus, i believe next few entries wun be something negative. haha..

thank you!!! ^-^

Thursday, July 26, 2007

mean day

was very very mean today. and i felt very guilty. guilty towards my mummy. went out for lunch with my parents. was very happy at first. cos i am collecting my harry potter book (was busy the past few days). but my happy mood doesn't last. at least this entire month, it didn't. after lunch, i had to run 3 places. collect my book, rent "jiayou jinshun" partly cos my mum want to finish the drama fast, and lastly, to print some stuffs.

went to collect my book first. there was 2 choices when i ordered my book then. either receive the book by post, or collect it on my own and get some voucher. i decided to collect it since i am staying so near and to get the voucher which i presume was food. kinda greedy when it comes to food. =) anyway, the voucher that i got was kinda Zzz.... free 4 pcs drumlets with every regular or large pizza ordered. valid for delivery only. haix. maybe i was too stupid and was expecting something nice. and nt 4 pcs drumlets that are worth 4bucks they claimed. thus, lesson learn, dun be greedy. especially when it is food. nt only you dun get wat u want, you put on weight as well!

thus, having being disappointed with the food voucher, i headed to the vcd shop with a real sulky mood and face. i should had guessed that being such a popular show (jiayou jinshun), it would be unlikely that the shop would still be carrying it.. thus, i was disappointed once again. and i started to "vent" my anger on my mum by showing attitude. to think that i always try to be good and filial to her.. =.="

next stop, the printing shop. waited for almost 10mins for the lady boss to edit a name card for a customer that was infront of me. and they ONLY had ONE computer in the shop. my mum then ask me to go to the front of the shop and tell the boss that i want to print something. hoping that he can do something about it. but i know he wun be able to do anything as i had mentioned, there was only one computer. and that was the answer the boss gave. go to the back to queue up. my blood started to boil. and i said, told you so. (feel like punishing myself for saying and thinking of such mean remarks.) after 25 mins of waiting. finally, it was my turn. but i went home empty-handed. why? cos the stupid computer at that shop cannot read my document. some words and the layout etc was missing. stupid shop. it never happened. went there to print so many times but it never ever happened before. damn

in the end, went home disappointed, angry plus sinful for being so rude to my mum. even till now, i am still feeling very bad. really very bad.

Friday, July 20, 2007

kevin's ROM

today is a unique day. 20th july 07 => 2007. equivalent to year 2007. first time attending a ROM event as well as a friend's ROM. it was quite short. maybe cos i reached there late. witness the procedure and went for lunch at fish and co after that. very happy for them because they had been together since sec school. not an easy job to be able to stay on a relationship for several years. because, everyone is different. able to overcome each differences and compromise and understand is definitely not an easy feat. thus, am very happy for them. congrats to the newly engaged. may you have many happy years ahead. =)

met celeste after that. might be the last time before she fly back to Aust for her study. her stay here in singapore is very short. thus, felt like never really catch up with her. especially i was very quiet today. maybe cos i am tired.

not in the mood for study till now. kept pushing back what i am suppose to do. once again, felt like stabbing myself to make myself move. just like a cow that needs to be whacked.

9pm. fever. time to sleep...

Thursday, July 19, 2007

=) feeling very much better today. actually was better yesterday night. after being "advised" by cs. haha. am really a silly person. one small matter, and i KO. the road ahead is so complicated. so so complicated that i wonder a simple minded person like me can walk through it not. but, without trying, we will never know right. =)

going for work soon. at kumon again. maybe the naughty kids can keep me company till i meet cs later in the night. like this, i wun think so much.

for now, assignment.. how to do!!!!!! arghz!!!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

back from chalet.

mood: so-so. not energize. instead, back with even more problems.

i seriously cannot have too much time hanging around. every min, every second. i must be occupied. only then would i not think so so much.

why do i make my life so difficult for myself. deserved NOT to be pity by.

Friday, July 13, 2007

i never believe in friday the 13th. but because of all the unlucky events that happened today. i can't help but sigh izzit because it is friday.

felt like i am the most stupidest and sillest person. even till now, i feel like laughing at my silly self. but, today is also the day that i am finally awake. awake why others always say i am silly. and awake that maybe to be is just silly, but to others, they might be laughing and thinking why this person so stupid. thus, i will never ever do anything silly from now onwards, and think before i act.

gotta make this entry short. cos it is rather late. and i've got a long day later.. =)

met up with seet wei before he left for australia this saturday. despite having to hobble around, he still make time to meet up before leaving. thanks! hope you do well in school.. =)

went to meet up with watch and meli after that. had jap dinner at amk hub. went to do a lil shopping after that. haha. bought 2 blouse and 1 denim short jacket or cardigan (whichever u wanna call it). quite cheap. very please with what i bought. haha. shopping with friends sure beat shopping alone. haha. yipee.

is past 12 midnight. cs still working. sobx for him. hope he finishes his stuff fast so that he can go home to rest. jiayou orhz!! =) gotta sleep. nitey!!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

a mess

busy is the only word i can think of. my daddy is still in a rather bad mood. maybe because he really wanna stop working and have a good rest for some time. i was rude to my mummy just now because she was asking me stuffs and i already had a whole lots of things to think about. but still, i am really sorry to be short tempered when she asked my stuffs.. =(

am totally booked during july. gotta work tml, rush back to school for a research participation and then to do personal stuffs after that. saturday gonna have class gathering and sunday my brother would most prob be booking out. hopefully, cs wun be working on sunday so that he can rest. booked a chalet next week for my mummy and auntie (cos i can't affort air tickets for them) to relax and be away from home, the housework and job. gotta work on thu and would be attending a classmate's ROM on friday. no plans on my upcoming critique dateline. diana is going to kill me... =/

anyway, conclusion is, july is damn busy. running here and there. thus, anything else, gotta wait till august. but then again, i would be so broke by the time august is here. so i would most prob have to camp at home unless someone gonna treat me. but, i wld not feel good being treated either. so, staying at home is the only choice. *contradictions (roll eye).

am i being too tough on myself i wonder. but, i am a busybody. thus, others problems, is also mine. Zzz.. feeling silly once again.. =(

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

farewell to my childhood friend

met up with shuhui and peiying today evening for dinner. peiying, my childhood friend, piano teacher and a good buddy will be leaving for states to further her music degree. sobx. gonna miss her alot. though i dun feel it now, cos it doesn't feel so real yet. but i am sure i am gonna be very sad like something is missing. do takecare over there. gonna miss you lots. keep in touch!! ='(

this afternoon wasn't very good. my daddy kinda quarrelled with a client. dunno what's wrong. but it seems like the good intention my dad had was always misunderstood. lately this kept happening. feeling the pain whenever i see him looking sad. if i am working now, he could had go easy on working. mummy as well. just felt like i should had been a better child by helping out with the financial burden. but i am sure that is not what they wanna hear..

cs is also working very hard. everyday OT not because he cannot finish it. but the project manager had unrealistic goals and terrible planning. thus, causing the team to do OT almost everyday. including weekends. Zzz!! he is also undergoing lotsa stress. but there is nothing much i can do except to hope that he can finish his work soon and have a good break.

so many things happening all at a time. thus, i really do not have time to think too much or have -ve thinking. this is the time to be more independent. so, jiayou jiayou jiayou to myself. only by thinking positive, would i then be able to influence the rest around me. thus, tml would be a better day after a good night rest. Zzzz... =)

Monday, July 09, 2007

happie =)

yesterday was a wonderful day! my happiest day this week and the past few weeks. firstly, i get to see my brother after 2 weeks of missing his absence. went to safti today. was quite a long ride. once again felt very proud of him. he is so so nice and good mannered as if nothing can turn him off. visited his bunk, the canteen and the ocs tower (think that's what it is called. forgetful me). he was so patient and kept asking whether we wanna take family photos. hee. too bad my daddy a lil not cooperative (guys dun really like to take photos?) thus we only took maybe 1 or 2 family photo. but my brother said it was ok. we can still take more photos after he graduate, which would be 9 months later. no matter what, our whole family are so proud of him (cos he seems to have become a very good man gradually) and so happy that he is doing well. brother, jiayou!! =)

next happy event. =) cs had been working OT the whole week because his project team a lil disorganised. thus, he had to suffer the whole week. =( this means that, i didn't have much time to talk to him and that he is too tired most of the time. thus i would rather his to sleep early. but i had been very naughty of late. because, even though i know that working in the IT field is gonna be lotsa OT, but yet, i will still be very upset why i could not talk to him. resulting in me thinking ALL sort of NONSENSE like, he is ignoring me etc... toopid me. after pushing aside all those stupid thoughts, i would start to be angry with myself behaving in a such a stupid way. so you can see, my whole week was up and down with internal conflict along the way. therefore, yesterday's meeting was definitely something that i was looking forward and it ended up better than what i thought. =D things wasn't very good at first because he was out with his friends to attend some event. and i thought he would be having dinner with them instead of me. thus, i was sulky when i met him. but it was all a misunderstanding. a silly thought i had... =.= after he knocked off those silly thoughts of mine, we went for dinner and caught transformers. =) the show was great. the effect was good. but the fighting was a little too fast, so it wasn't clear who is good and bad when they transform into the orignal self. but overall, the show is good. =)

just wanna say a big big thank you to cs for meeting me despite being so tired and falling sick the previous day. and despite having to work the next day, still kept his promise and watched the movie (it ended very late). hope his team can finish the project soon. then he dun have to OT everyday and work during the weekends.. cs, jiayou orhz.. =)

lastly, wanna thank my classmates (ultimate solid, the 2 solids and gas =p) for tolerating my sulky face the whole week. haha. and jocelyn for listening to all my grumbles in class.. haha... nitey!! =)

Thursday, July 05, 2007

no class today. thus i woke up early and went to the market with my mummy. hmm. shld be my mummy went to the market with me. cos it was me who wanted to buy some stuffs to cook for lunch. celebrated my daddy's birthday in advance by cooking lunch (with the help of my mum) because i will be having class then. thus, i can only celebrate in advance. luckily he said it was nice. wahaha.. first time cooking for him, and he said nice.. *happie.. think he gave face to me. else i wun cook next time. haha...

looking forward to sunday. because i would get to see my brother then. he said that he did not have enough rest the past few days. think it is very tiring at ocs bah. *heart pain.. but still, hope he is doing fine over there. soon can come home rest le.. brother, jiayou!!

cs have been very busy lately. just barely a few weeks at work and he have to ot almost everyday. think he did not get to have a good rest either. xin ku le...

wish i ain't feeling sulky because i dun even know what am i being sulky for. irritated with myself. maybe i am just tired after a whole morning of prepartion and cooking. gonna look for a new blog skin now. been pushing it off since last week. Zzz...

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

ok. recently have been quite well. surprisingly. spend my whole sunday morning reading harry potter and the order of phoneix. since the movie is coming up. ha. went to cs house to watch vcd while he do his work. he gonna be busy le. so i have to be independent and keep myself busy. like this i wun feel so bad. so.. jiayou jiayou!! hehe..

spend my whole day playing theme hospital. haha.. been wanting to play that game. but only got the chance now. since class only starts tml.. hehe. kinda guilty after finishing the game. because i did not accomplished anything planned previously. but still.. its okie. anyway, i seldom does that (playing of game i meant. =p).

july gonna be a busy month. with friends flying off to another country to study. and friends coming back for
graduation and flying off again. thus, my july schedule can say is very pack. luckily, there isn't much class during the first month. but if i slack off during the first month, i am going to be so dead for the whole semester.. =/ plus, i am still trying to look for another part time to supplement my financial. gonna be busy busy. thus, please understand and forgive if i always say "cannot make it.." sorry.. hee.. but i tink my friends are so nice so they wun be angry with me right???? =p

lastly, i think i am very mean. cos i seems to judge people by what they do. my mum scolded me for it. thus, i remove a certain entry on my blog.

ok. that's all. time to prepare for work.. byee.. =)

Sunday, July 01, 2007

went to my nephew's 1 year old birthday party today. felt a little strange. maybe because i am like a stranger to my relatives. maybe my cousins. one reason might be because they are older than me. about 4 on average. but the main reason is i seldom visit them. dun ask me why. i not sure either. many reasons i suppose. thus, i envy people who gets to gather with their relatives once a month for dinner. having a close bond is always so good. tend to feel the care and concern your relatives had. love. but even still, i dun think i will go down often to visit them as time is just too tight and i seriously dunno what to say.

is very late now. been a few days since my brother contacted us. busy. hope he is doing well. may tml be a better day for me. for everyone....