if the end of love is this hard. i would never love again. never again.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

missing them - EK children

yesterday was my last day of work at EK.

i had to tell the children that a new teacher call sharon will be coming over to teach them. heard from one of the teacher, the children went back crying saying teacher ling (the name they called) will not be coming anymore....

i miss them so so much. i hope they do as well..

i miss the children that i taught since they were k1.. especially the one i am closest with.... tien chyi. that is his chinese name..

if i ever do have a chance. i will ask the mum whether he can be my god son. though my mum says that sounds weird. meaning i had a child when i was 18 years old.... cos he is 19 years younger than me.. =p

but well.. somehow, there's this bond that i do not know how to explain. a feeling that i can take care of him like as though he is my child. not all of them felt this way.

call me childish or leaving in a dreamland.

that's me again.

weird me.

i miss all my EK children very very much.. hope all of them will grow up pretty, cute, handsome and innocent at heart always.. <3

signing out... 12.00pm

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

not in the mood

i am just not in the mood for anything.

there are a list of things for me today. but i just can't get down doing it~

after resisting the idea of the teacher coming to sit in, thickening my skin in hope that the teacher would not come, after crying really hard and then finally accepted the teacher could just come.... the teacher is not coming after all. as she has something on.

feeling really moodless at the moment and tired...

my eyes hurt. my head hurts. i just want to take a nap.

my optical mouse which i love lots is spoilt. should i buy something better, much more expensive or should i just stick to the one i love, the color, cheaper but not that good.

signing out... 3.38pm

EK, new teacher, last request

i know i am being childish. but i am just like this.

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tml is my last day of work at the woodlands kindergarten, EK. remembered how much heartache when i first started there 2 years ago and slowly in turned into love and friendship with the children and towards the teachers.

this year's k2 batch is the only batch that i had taught since they were k1. the connection i have with them is so much so much. i really miss them. since 3 weeks ago.. and finally. tml is gonna be the last day.

my supervisor had found a new teacher to replace me. and she wished, as well as the new teacher wished to meet my children in advance. which is tml. my last lesson. i am fine if tml ain't the last day. i am not uncomfortable with her coming. but, i just wish to spend my last lesson with my children one last time.

my brother thinks i am childish i know. others also think that way.

i had never wanted the teacher to not come that much that i actually ask the supervisor could she not.

sad sad sad.

just hope the new teacher would not.

i dun care if the supervisor thinks i am childish.

i just only have this one last request.

signing out... 10.07am

Friday, July 23, 2010

secondary team gathering

yesterday i met up with grace and my secondary school badminton team friends.

and i am happy.

although i am older now...

but i am happy i once used to be happy and had happy memories with my friends *^_^*

thank you~

signing out... 10.00pm

Monday, July 19, 2010

gathering with childhood friends

regarding yesterday's entry...

me ain't unhappy my friends are starting work soon. neither am i unhappy that i will be starting work soon. i should be happy for all of us. and i am. just a lil sadden that everyone will be leading a life of their own. a life whereby each and everyone works for their own future. though it is normal for ppl to slowly distance from each other. however, i need some time to get use to it.... everyone is gonna work for life from now on. at least most of us will be.. a new phase in life - requires some time to get use to.. =/

whatever it is, i treasure each moment i had with all my friends. from childhood, pri, sec, poly till uni... i will remember all the moments that's shared with all my good friends =)

today was also a moment i treasured lots.. somehow, i seems to talk too much that i felt my jaw hurt.. haha.. met up with my childhood friends - peiying and shu hui for lunch, singing session, dinner and drink with peiying... sang songs which reminded us of when we were young. songs like m2m, westlife, britney spears, mariah carey etc............ after dinner, peiying and i slack at one corner of starbucks sipping grean tea while catching up before she flies off for her studies again..

how should i describe the feeling..

it was just purely great! i am glad. am happy today ^-^ thank you~

nite nite~

signing out... 12.08am

time to rest. but yet too late to rest

today is a great weather.

weather to sleep. and, i am gonna sleep soon~ ^^

tml / later, i will be meeting my childhood friends. before one of them leave for studies once again. =) maybe i just want to go out play and relax. thus, i specially took leave for tml. though there's lots of work to be done. kumon toa payoh lor 4 is having a free trial period for kids as well as parents. a kind of promotion advertisement to increase the number of students. is actually happening at all kumon outlet.. =)

anyway, i am glad to take a break after working so hard. well, indeed, some says i brought it for myself. but on the other hand, i wish i dun have to. thus, i shall treasure my rest day tml. still looking forward to learn skating. will i squeeze out some time for myself? since i am working for like all 6 days a week with only one day free... sigh.............

2 more weeks to start work. full time job. as a kindergarten teacher. in the end, i am still back at teaching.... =/ =] =) lots of friends to meet up. especially those who are starting work like next week as well as leaving in 2 weeks time..... so little time for me. so many friends to meet. will i make in time?

time to sleep~ before i leave. one thing that made me sad - kids not doing their work. solution. dun care. [can i?] one thing that made me happy - i finally trimmed my hair... it was getting a lil irritating and my hair was getting damaged.... so i finally got it treated and trimmed. style: short at the back. long at the side. fringe - as usual, the bangs. think i suit that? =)

goodnight~

signing out... 1.00am

Thursday, July 15, 2010

smell of rain

tonight, i suppose might rain..

cos i can smell the misty rain.. it makes me feel peaceful.. maybe i will sleep earlier and well tonight.. *weak smile =/

signing out... 11.27pm

roller skate, ice skate

i want to learn roller skate and ice skate..

plus. better time management..

signing out... 11.17am

Sunday, July 11, 2010

sick~

today is a long day with tuition from 10.15am till 2.30 / 3.00pm with a short break in between...

felt i really should treat myself better. dun work so much. take a longer leave or something to regenerate and recuperate. but. somehow, i just could not let go of my work.

so what happened in the end? i fell sick. like right now... =/

#side track# missing my EK kindergarten kids. another 2 more lesson and i have to say bye bye.. ='(

recently i had been hearing news on marriage, getting a house etc etc... i am really feeling old. as a girl... just moments ago, my secondary school guy friend said he had gotten a house with his gf of around 1 year plus. am really happy for him. but on the other hand confused with myself...

but anyway, i must be too dizzy and sickly to know what i am talking now.

so off i am.

#looking forward to learn roller skate b4 work starts aug#

signing out... 8.00pm

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

失去

没有人喜欢失去任何东西。

但。。。

每个人都会失去些设么。也会心痛。

我知道我将会失去好多好多人，东西和回忆。不管我多么努力，有些事是不能改变。有些事不能从来。

但。。。

我还是会努力。因为珍惜。

只希望我不要失去自己。

虽然偶而觉得已经开始了。。。

signing out... 10.38pm

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

to daddy

to daddy,

wishing you a Happy Birthday today.

i am sorry. sorry for many. for forgetting ur birthday.

signing out... 11.24pm

Sunday, July 04, 2010

meeting - childhood friends

just came home~

i had been going out really frequent and returning a lil late these few days....

but is a great meet up with my childhood friends (def: friends whom i know since i was really young - 8 years? as well as friends whom i used to call 哥and 姐). we seldom really meet. maybe once or twice a year? last time used to be lots of jokes and much more casual talk. but this time round. is about marriage, getting a new house, balloting for a house. yeah. those whom i called 哥and 姐 are getting married. either next year or the following year. they actually already had plans... for those sisters, they are only 2 years older than me? while those brothers, are about 4 years older than me? is alright for guys to get married at 30 and gals to be marrried around 27. i am glad for them while on the other hand, realised how time really flies. last time used to be gf, bf. now, is wife etc... as they talked, the question started to turn to me. i've got no idea. however, i did picture myself to be 33 and above before being able to get married. by then, will i still have anyone left? their question was really difficult to answer and also difficult to avoid.....

however, i was really happy to see my friend who returns only once a year from the states. as much as i envy her being able to continue her study, i am however really proud of her and being her friend. wishe i had the courage to give her welcome hug. but am shy. #^_^#

we will be meeting again very very soon! before she returns back for study...

for myself on the other hand, i will have to try to be positive / optimistic and not let anything get me down..

that's it. goodnight~

signing out... 12.45am

Friday, July 02, 2010

and i thought it was....

getting better this morning...

i met ben and grace this morning for breakfast whereby darius join us shortly after... is the first time i met ben since i dunno when. 1 year? 1 1/2 year? anyway, it was really great to see him. great to see darius. and great to see grace.. all the good memories that i had during my sec & poly school years with them came rushing back to me.
this made me happy.

although ben is gonna be back for a short time before i dunno when i will be seeing him again. but i am glad he is back and that cos of him, i get to meet darius and grace so soon once again. for the first time since this week? i am happy

however, things didn't quite last during dinner. i had a headache all of a sudden. but i am glad that i actually pull through the night till i got home. cos, it ain't easy to stay in touch with friends after everyone starts to get busy with life like work. so, to be able to have such a chance. i should learn how to treasure. although, i know i am a boring person as well as a spoilsport to not stay out late or wanting to club etc... i am really sorry. but i just really prefer to be home earlier and not interested to go to clubs. though i ever once wonder what it was like. but no longer now. it doesn't matter to me. maybe is the beginning of my boring life.

but. i suppose this is just me. for now.

to friends who are worried of my odd behaviour.... sorry to let ya be worried for me... this is just a transition period. a roadblock that i must try to overcome and i play a hugh role in it. i dunno how to say and what to say most of the time now. but i believe i will be okay.

on a happy note, ever since i watched Nodame Cantabile - the final score (movie), I had started to want to learn a musical instrument. maybe from where i stopped when i was much younger - piano. recently, i had also started / finished the drama serial of Nodame. now, looking forward to Nodame Cantabile - the finale (17th July 2010) i think i am so going to miss the show after the end of all the filiming.. =/ =]

goodnight~

sigining out... 11.59pm