if the end of love is this hard. i would never love again. never again.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

good morning~

lately, alot of things had been bothering me. the laptop is definitely one of the biggest worry. it involves the friendship of me and my friend, the relationship between me and my brother, and money.

everyone at home hasn't been in a good mood. to make things worst, i had been really short-tempered.

i should really start to cultivate patience and less anxiety.

two other things before signing out.. graduation ceremony is confirmed. 26th September. however, my brother says he ain't free to attend. suddenly dun feel like going anymore..

was thinking of a weird idea yesterday. i shall set up a "buyashoefund". the purpose is to get a sports shoe for running / badminton. any amount of donation will be good. haha.. stupid idea. but i think it was funny and fun.

that's all..

signing out... 9.08am

Thursday, August 27, 2009

i feel like crying..

am i just making things complicated or things are just complicated.

there are numerous things i have to think about. which come first i dunno. all seems so important.

laptop. i wish the laptop would just come and my friend would just return my call.

money. i wish i can struck some lottery and not think about it until i get so frustrated that i start being bad tempered to all.

temper. i wish i can just control this short temper of mine. cos i simply just hate it.

i really feel like crying. but somehow. the tears just wun roll down.

signing out... 10.24pm

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

malaysia photos + updates

yesterday, is a day filled with mixed feelings.

positive or negative first?

maybe positive. =)

i met up with melissa for lunch today. it was a short lunch meeting before my tuition. we had lunch at a hawker centre before walking over to the drive-through mac to have a drink. then we went arcade for a while to play the bball game as well as photo hunt. haha.. how nice to be so relaxed~ really missed her lots. felt guilty towards her cos i always seems so busy to meet my dear friends. but. am super happy to see her. at first thought that we might not know what to talk cos haven't met up for so looong. however, we just chatted so naturally. super happy. thank you meli.. *hugx.

now the negative.

the most important grades are out. i know some are happy and some are sad. for me. i feel numbed. somehow. congrats who did well. =) you did well and i am happy for you. well done~ to friends who did not reach their expectation, dun be sad.. you did your best. but i hope you can managed to get some negotitation. *hugx* dun be sad kk..

lately, i think i had been a little quiet. thinking of things. which cannot be said as a bad thing.. =) just that there's just too many things for me to do that i always planned to finish but can't. so in the end, things just get accumulated. haha.. sounds like some excuses right. well.. hack~ it doesn't matter. as long as i live life fulfilling and to my best. =)

gonna upload some photos on my malaysia trip. photos that i like =) there will be more coming up as we will be meeting amber this coming thursday! yup yup.. she is back for a week and we will be going to the zoo..

anyway, the photos.... p.s: dun say i act cute ^_^

introducting... the friendship ring we bought. frens 4eva~ ^_^

like the fountain behind.. though is small here~

think this photo is well taken! they both look so pretty and cute ^_^

4 of us at KLCC twin towers =)

inside KLCC

@ french villiage

fascinated with a window which we only realised it was broken [no window pane] on the next day.. =p

@ jap village

the ribbons..

my poly buddies (L-R: celeste, val aka lihui, peifeng)

the very famous korean pose ^-^v

self-take picture before we board the bus ^-^ a wonderful trip. thanks~

signing out... 1.21am

Sunday, August 23, 2009

虽然有点阴，

也有一点雨。

但天气好好。

心情却没天气好。。。

signing out... 4.45pm

life is not a bed of roses

*thinking* can life be easy on a bed of roses with thorns?

life isn't a bed of roses. at least for me.

yesterday, i was feeling lousy. it has got nothing to do with anyone. but just me thinking too much (others wld say..)

i had always felt that i am a sensible person. but being sensible might had led me to being stubborn. ever since i started my first job after o-levels, i had started to have a habit to use whatever i earned. even during poly, despite having attachment which is 5 days a week, i still insist on working my part-time during weekend. only during first year in uni whereby i did not work, did i used whatever my parents gave.

even though i ain't holding a full time. but am working really hard in the various part-time. i am not like those gals in dramas with strong character who worked cos the family is poor. i think my family is okay. but my stubborn character insist of not taking my parent's money even if i earned very little, unless, i really can't hold on. cos i think is like a burden to them if they have to work for the sake of money (of course, tat might nt be wat they are thinking).

i dun think i am stingy or what, and i admit i spend alot (maybe not as much as those rich gals) until the moment i realised i had not enough for the rest of the month.. until i have to calculate whether i can afford to go out or not.

anyway, this just got me thinking and i finally rationalized. not everyone can understand me. neither can i understand anyone truly. not everyone goes through what i go through neither do everyone have the character and belief which i have. so, it really doesn't matter how the situation is going to be. as long as i hold on to what i belief and hope that understanding will be gained.

lx fighting~

signing out... 11.58am

Friday, August 14, 2009

random entry on - brother ^_^

i was talking to my brother this morning. some of you might have already known, he will be starting school next week. and somehow, i feel like studying and not working at the moment. not that i dun like to work. friends of mine will know how much time i am spending on my part-time. but, i just want to study with my brother who is extremely motivated to study. at least someone can scold me if i dun want to study and kept wanting to go out. haha. crazy right.

i love my brother lots and i think he is wonderful and sensible. unlike me. hearing him talk made me feel like i am not cut out for certain things such as relationships. haha..

anywayz anywayz.. this is just a random and emotional entry of my brother and how proud i am to have him as my brother. is time for me to grow up and not think like i am in some fairy land. else my brother will be further and further from me.

lingxuan. fighting~ *^_^*

signing out... 3.10pm

Da Vinci exhibition + science centre

just realised i did not publish my post yesterday.

currently in the process of uploading more pictures. but too tired. so i shall blog about today before sleeping.. =)

met up with jocelyn and daphne in the noon for the Da Vinci exhibition held at Science Centre till this coming Sunday. is been a long time since i last stepped into Science Centre. Maybe primary school was my last. did i visit it during secondary school? hmm.. dun remember. haha. anywayz...

totally fascinated with the works of Leonardo Da Vinci who was borned in 1452. I always thought he was just merely an artist due to his famous art works, the last supper and mona lisa. however, i am totally impressed after the exhibition. the numerous of creations he did. though some or most seems a little not practical. but for a person at his time. i would say he is impressive. other things that was started off by him was the anatomy of the human. if i remembered and listened correctly, Leonardo Da Vinci dissect dead people and started to examine and draw up the anatomy of human beings.

too tired to continue. overall, i think the exhibition was really good. especially on the art works that he did. just that there were some sayings de-coding by ppl on the last supper but was not mentioned in the exhibition. learnt more about the mona lisa. as compared to when i was 11 years back, i have no idea what was i looking at in the museum except that the picture of the mona lisa was special. ha!

pictures was not allowed to be taken in the exhibition. but will upload some taken at the science centre~

nite nite..

signing out... 1.00am

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

back~~ =)

i am back~ ^_^

had been having some problems with blogging the past few days. of course! that shld not be taken as an excuse. but at least, it is part of it. haha..

today is a very very long day for me. first i went to work at the kindergarten in the morning till noon. managed to have some spare time before tuition, so i met grace for tea break at 3plus. was my lunch actually. haha.. i am so so happy to see her. been a long time since i last saw her. partly cos i was quite afraid to see her due to certain issues. but it was resolved today. so i am really happy to see her. superb happy. ~(*^_^*)~ <-- copied from a friend. so after meeting grace, i headed off for tuition. sigh. that's when i started to feel sad. on the way bernice's mum smsed me. i am truly feeling very sorry towards her for the bad results bernice got for maths. though i will try my best to help her improve, but, the feeling of guilt still hit me once in a while. lately, i had just been feeling that way. during tuition, i also realised how childish i was. to me, the kids are like my friends. so at times, i tend to forget i am the teacher and instead, started to talk to them like a friend forgetting they are still kids and i should mind my position and the words i said. nope. i didn't say anything vulgar. friends of mine shld know i dun... nt so much i suppose? anyway, i will think about it and do better next time. fighting~

some updates on the recent malaysia trip. i really enjoyed myself. though i did not breathe enuff of the genting air. while my friend did not breathe enuff of the casino air. haha.. anyway, on the first day at 5am, we headed off to meet celeste before taking a bus to the checkpoint and at luckin interchange, a bus up to KL. it was a rather long trip and KL was a lil hot.. at KL, celeste's friend - jason drove us around. first stop was berjaya times square whereby celeste and peifeng did their nails while li hui and i both went shopping around where both of us bought a top and a dress. =) as we were too hungry, we had sushi and sushi king. but it wasn't done up nicely =( but i would say, i enjoyed the food lots as it was superb. especially 龙的传人。 is cheap and nice [as compared to when eating at crystal jade in s'pore]. after that we went to KLCC to cam-whore a "lil" (haha..) before heading down to Colmar Tropicale after dinner =) ended off the day with lots of photos taken which i will post up after i received them from celeste =) as well as li hui's birthday celebration =)

the second day was the most exciting day as we headed off to the Japanese Village located near Colmar Tropicale. it was my first time wearing a kimono. haha. not sure whether i will ever had the chance to wear it again. but it was awesome. photos will be up when i received them =) after that, we headed off to genting whereby we had to wait painfully for our hotel rooms to be allocated to us. #=.=# so the second day was a day filled with first time. first time at casino. first time playing the jackpot and table games. but i am not an addict. haha.. no implications ^_^w <- swear

the last day ended off with me and li hui snapping photos around and eating fried ice-cream before boarding the bus. haha..

okay lah. i am quite lazy to type more. so i will just post some pictures now. and post more next few days~~ dun say me act cute when u see them~~ haha..

start of the trip~