if the end of love is this hard. i would never love again. never again.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

somehow, everything just seem so wrong today.

i was late for work ain't because i woke up late but there was no transport. yup. usually i will grab a cab from the station that is nearest to the place i am working at to save time and money. because i have to wear slightly formal with heels. yup.. definitely save some time walking over. as usual, i alighted the train and headed to the taxi stand. to my horror, instead of several cabs waiting for a passenger it is the other way round. several passengers waiting for a cab. thus, i was late. =(

apologetic to the kids. sorry.. today is a special day for the kids.. is stickers day!! yup.. they are excited so am i.. haha.. but.. despite my greatest effort to get them to listen, they just love to be the teacher and speak while i speak.. hmm.. am actually quite sad and my heart really hurts whenever i had to be fierce and ask them not to shout, get out of their chair or speak when i speak else no stickers or a sad face will be given which means no stickers. sad why can't i handle it in a better way whereby i dun have to "threaten" them with no stickers if you are notti but some other way. still, i wun give up. i will try to catch their attention next week. was never angry with them.. cos they are all so adorable.. even the most mischievous have their adorable side. *grin =)

went to the library with jocelyn to search for some presentation materials. was really tired.. kinda expected i wun make it for class later. indeed. i kept dozing off. guess all my energy was used up on the children.. plus, i dun understand the lecture.. lots of reading.. engine still re-booting. but keeping my cool. dun stress dun stress. this is the best survival method.

lastly, i can't truthfully describe myself. i know i am sensitive, at times i can detect a change in mood. but many of a times, i seems to be oversensitive. no matter what. i know myself. i would not want to see anyone unhappy. only when everyone around me is happy will i be happy.

just for this 1 year. after this year, i will start working officially. then, i will bring you and aunty and uncles out for holiday. determined.

i know i will pull through any hurdles because i am blessed with each and everyone of you. thank you.

signing out... 2.25am