if the end of love is this hard. i would never love again. never again.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

yesterday

Many things happened yesterday. While i was trying very hard to chiong the very last bit of my document, my computer hang. Soon after my document just vanish. Vanish into the computer world. Okok.. the computer did give me a chance to save my document. It prompted me to.. BUT!! When i open the document, it was blank... =.="""""" so so sobx at that time.. I am almost done.. just a little changes here and there and it will be done.. but then it still *POOF. gone. okok.. i will stop ranting about it.. now i am feeling even more determine it asap.. yup!

after work, i went to visit my aunt..because she isn't feeling well..on my way back,i suddenly feel that my thinking is rather matured.because my aunt, she is not feeling well..but she still have to takecare of my uncle's son. her grandson..maybe it seems like she should takecare of him.but now that she is not feeling well..my uncle should do something..but it seems like she is not..suddenly i feel sad for my aunt..because she got so many children..but yet none can actually helped her out..and even if my mum wants to look after my aunt, but sometimes she just need to leave her whenever she have to meet her client..i think i will take leave or stop my job 1mth earlier if i really have to.to take care of my aunt..

yesterday me n him was discussing abt trust. think it was interesting. as in at least i dun feel a least bit of unhappy or angy like what he fear.. Just he set me to think am i just too trusting.. or another word is call naive.. currently, i do not put a shield infront of me. as in a guard to guard myself as to whom i make friends or work with.. but i think i do not treat people whom i dunno but come to talk to me rather mean. as in very quiet. one, two words and full stop. but after knowing them, i just simply talk as if i got so much things to say.. haha.. well.. i was just wondering at that time, does the people around me also have a shield infront of them.. like when chatting or going out etc.. they also have such a shield.. maybe if u say studies, can understand.. but i think is more of a weary but definitely not a shield as to keep everything or wat de..
But on the other hand, maybe i just misunderstood what he was trying to bring across. and all those are just my thinking about a person having a shield / guard.. am i naive?

Next friday will be good friday.. i had organise a bbq near my house for my class.. called them so as to hope they will make that day free.. send an email to double confirm the attendance.. but so far only 1 replied. maybe everyone are busy with work.. dun think they check their emails.. or maybe it had been raining almost every evening so the rain kinda bring the mood down.. but hope they will response so as to show more enthu..else i think its pointless to organise a gathering when only a few turns up.. but no worries coz i will understand i looking forward doesn't mean others must look forward as well.. coz we are all different individuals. ^_^

Lastly, one good news.. haha.. out of the so much that i have said. I had pass my EPT test.. well.. i mentioned this test during my last few entries.. it a test for applicants who wants to register to become a teacher in NIE but do not have a B3 and above for english.. Well.. my feelings for passing it is more like a: phew, at least my english still got some hope. if i fail, i think i really need to face the wall n have a good thought as to why i am failing it.. failing the test sorta means that primary school kids can even do better than me.. haha..

ok.. gotta stop here n start working on my document.. happie weekends.. :)